People from across the nation have declared a strike from travelling in Air India until they ensure that the air hostesses and stewards are pleasant to look at and can make announcements in clear diction. With Kingfisher Airlines almost out of business, general public is being forced to turn to other airlines, in spite of obvious inconvenience of having to bear with ‘cabin crew’s from the land of bad looks’.

Parveen Chandra, a 27 year old engineer from Mumbai was quoted as saying, “I got scared out of my wits when I saw the cabin crew on my flight from Hyderabad to Mumbai. I would have switched to another airline or even a train, if I had time.” Another passenger in the same flight fainted when he saw the air hostess up close. A language teacher on the flight offered to provide diction classes to the crew, but backed off when asked for per diem training allowance by the crew in question.

Air India is trying its level best to pacify the public. However, it is facing ire from its own employees as well as prospective passengers because of bureaucracy and red tape prevalent in the organisation. As per our confidential sources, a top officer had suggested employing Mr. Mallya for selection of cabin crew for Air India. However, his suggestion was turned down after Mamata di objected. Another suggestion regarding using Kingfisher Airlines’ cabin crew for Air India’s flights was also turned down on suspicions that Kingfisher may have to turn it’s crew over to its lender’s for auction, in partial payment of its debts.

In response to the crisis, Air India has constituted a committee for looking into the matter. The committee is expected to submit it’s report in a year’s time. Meanwhile, the committee members have refused to travel by Air India so they wouldn’t be influenced by the empty flights and idle cabin crew.

P.S. This is a satire inspired by frequent strikes ailing the national carrier.
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